Danger
The thrill of danger makes my bone hard and drip sap. Why does a prick gagging my throat (while I beg for air,) make me feel safe and calm? Why does having my body covered in demeaning words (in permanent marker,) make me feel so good about my self image? Why does scaring the shit out of a big, bad boy give me such a bone hardening thrill? Who knows? it might be dangerous to try and figure out why.
I started young. Needles and pins through my young tender flesh seemed natural to me as a young pup (after seeing “A Man called Horse.) Next came my Dad’s inflatable splints (from his EMS kit,) immobilizing my arms, legs and neck, which always made me feel safe and secure.
By the time I was old enough for my bone to leak, I had gathered a club full of young perverts, which met in a fort in my backyard behind the shed. We would dare each other to do the freakiest things to ourselves and other club members. Some of the games involved piss, sucking and roping each other up, all which made us hard with the knowledge that we could be caught at anytime.
I came out of the closet in High School , and then I knew what real danger was. Being caught checking out the big tube of flesh on a football jock was dangerous and so was taking his load (cum dripping down my face,) under the bleachers in the school gym. Hitch hiking down to Woodward Ave. in Detroit to make a few bucks, selling my perversions to rough trade was dangerous ( but still made my bone stiff with blood.) Selling my 17 year old mouth in Palmer Woods for spending money, that was full of danger. But spending years tweaked out on Meth, well that is now way to dangerous for me.
So many people fear pain, never thinking that many of us find a spiritual awareness through it. Pain makes me feel fully alive and makes me remember my primal animal self. The sharp piercing pain of a needle shoved 
through thick flesh, the heavy thud of a fat flogger warming my back or the jolt of electricity surging through my nuts, for me it is the most scared of experiences. My spirits soars; my mind free of all the voices and the earthly shit that usually plague me. The gift of this experience ties me forever to Ed, I will always be grateful and in love with Ed for sharing these cosmic experiences with me.
P. S.
I remember this guy drew from Chicago. His big thrill was being sandwiched between 2 plywood sheets. He always wanted it done in a rain yard where the plywood sheet would be on a rail that wasn’t in use. When a train was coming he had no idea if he was on a live track, because the empty rail vibrated the same as the one in use. Drew was a wild guy.
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